“Have you already signed sex agreement at the lawyer?” ‒ after the New Year, Facebook news feed started and ended with this. True, permits for sex were diluted by the political upheavals of the candidates for the presidency.
“Sex” in our still primitive society is a shameful word and it’s rarely possible to pronounce it without blushing, even fewer people can speak on this topic seriously. And so, any sex, if it comes to the public discussion, results into memes and jokes, even if initially there was nothing ridiculous, or even more, there was so much sadness, that we would rather cry over it. But no, we are immature society and as first-graders, we are still amused by the words “sex”, “penis”, “vagina” and others.
Almost every second person in the list of my Facebook friends posted a joke about sex agreement and how everything will become hard now, even more people laughed at it silently. And only a few have read at least the name of this amendment to the criminal code, in which, oh my goodness, it goes about SEX.
Do not hesitate, get used to it, in this text I will often write the word sex and will not use euphemisms.
So what’s up there? Let’s google at first, let’s search in Ukrainian “Sex with consent. The law”. Look through the results “The law on consent to sex: in Ukraine amendments to the Criminal Code came into force”, “For sex without consent up to half a year in prison: Ukraine has updated the law on domestic violence”, “A survey on the new law on consent to sex among Ukrainians” and my favorite ‒ “Sex only with prior consent: Ukraine introduced revolutionary changes to the Criminal Code”.
It turns out that sex with consent for us is something incredible, it is revolutionary. Of course, before it was possible for everyone to take and f*ck her/him without even asking if he/she wants it. And that’s all. Even if a person, who did not agree with the sexual act, then reported on the rape, this person still had to prove that she didn’t walk too late, drink too much, look too good, protest too quietly, or maybe, she wore lipstick, then this completely changes the case… Yes, when discussing the violence topics, more often than not, it is the short dress and lipstick that become the factor that actually justifies a rapist.
But it is worth talking about the “rape culture” in our primitive society in more details another time. Now, I will return to the “revolutionary” changes regarding consent to sex.
So, if you look at the news, the majority of journalists have never even strained so to read the text of the amendments, take the lawyer by the hand and figure out together what the essence of these amendments is, which, by the way, are called “The Law of Ukraine On the Amendments to the Criminal and Criminal Procedural Codes of Ukraine in order to implement the provisions of the Council of Europe Convention on the Prevention of Violence against Women and Domestic Violence and the fight against these phenomena”. Such a long, hard to read and understand, but filled with meaning, title. Re-read it again and again, and then once more, it may become clear. And then, if you master the courage, re-read the whole law and you may be surprised, but there is not a word about the written agreement and notarized consent. There is only voluntary consent, which must precede normal sexual intercourse. I hope all of you, pranksters, have not had sex with people against their will. I quote “Consent is considered voluntary if it is the result of the free will of the person, taking into account the attendant circumstances”.
Yes, by the way, if you are able to think, then re-read that Law completely, it is not painful and not even difficult, only three pages of text that is quite understandable and quite useful. The text, which will save lives, or someone from domestic violence, or help to stand in court against a system that is more likely to justify the perpetrators. Also note that there is not a single mention of the gender of the aggressor and the victim, and the same law recognizes that men, as well as women, can suffer from violence and have the same right to be protected.
And now we will return again to Google, and we will type already in Russian “Sex with consent. The law”. And it is here that we get all those headlines that can be considered the ancestors of Internet memes and jokes about the agreement. Oh, what’s that? What are these words-markers ‒ “on Ukraine” (Russians say not “in Ukraine”, but “on Ukraine” – translator’s note), etc. Oh, and now it is clear that the first resources that produced the headlines about the agreement for sex are Russian… Greetings. You are another small and inconspicuous victim of the information war, a hostile information army tricked you and won. Because you are a hysterical bummer, you are more likely to write an agreement, according to the standard of Russian trolls, than to knuckle down and read 3 pages of amendments to the Criminal Code.
And while you are sharing another joke on the topic of sex consent, someone is being killed next to you and raped right in the family. About 300 people become victims of domestic violence every day.
Do you find it funny?
Tatusya Bo