When I was a kid, all the adults in my environment repeated like a mantra that a good child should be quiet and polite and must obey adults. For some reason, I really wanted to be a good child, so I was very obedient to adults and was very polite, as far as it was possible then.
In any children’s quarrels, I was told, well, you are the youngest ‒ be smarter, be polite, do what you want, just do not defend your dignity. And you know, the memory from that time tells me that this my politeness and humility rewarded in no way. I usually had a worse piece, I worked more, and got the worst place. My less courteous and more arrogant brothers and sisters managed to grab all the best.
I do not know how many years it took me to understand that dignity is not born with humility and politeness. I know that I learned to say “no” for a very long time, I learned to be disobedient and impolite, I learned to walk against the wind, swim against the stream, and force others to listen to me.
Recently, in the midst of such a family “micro-quarrel”, my husband said to me “you like making scandals”. And then a polite and obedient me woke up. And I kept silent, even though I mentally continued the dialogue with him and spoke… spoke.
I told him that I couldn’t stand quarrels and scandals, but no one upheld my dignity, opinion, and my life. No one has ever defended, everyone just waited for me to dutifully step aside and keep silent. And my gnawing, bickering, quarrelling, and sometimes the flow of the filthy language ‒ this is a way of survival. A way to prove that I am a human and I have dignity and will not allow anyone to walk all over me.
So, my life has developed, that now I am already upholding the dignity, life and rights not only of mine but also of those close to me, of my child. And you know ‒ this is very convenient for others. And when someone goes to the hell of housing office, opens their black mouth there and achieves consideration of their rights, and ensures that they are considered, respected and, not humiliated, only then they begin to fulfil their direct duties. It is then, after the hands of that someone stop trembling, we can say that he or she is just scandalous. Yeah…
For decades, our country has produced strange, intricate, complex and frankly idiotic systems and schemes. The purpose of which, in my opinion, is first of all the desire to humiliate a person, to point out to a place of quietness and humility… and vileness.
How many times in your life have you heard the phrase: “Hey, ma’am, what’s wrong with you? Everybody likes it, but you’re messing up here!”?
How many times have you been told, “What, are you figuring out here? You’re holding up the line.”? And also ‒ “It works like this for a hundred years, you’re just finicky.”
Or have you already captured in memory: “Well, you know in which country we live, everything is so here”?
Everything, but not exactly. A computer doesn’t humiliate a person and a bus doesn’t behave like a scoundrel, a hospital building doesn’t lead to thoughts of suicide ‒ these are all people… The same people… These are all of you, who choose the path of courtesy and humility instead of defending your rights and dignity. Schemes and systems are changed not by obedient people, but by brawlers, who have the dignity and strength to think outside the square. Countries are changed by brawlers. Rights and the opportunity to live with dignity for the obedient are also fiercely fought by brawlers. Eh, if not for the original woman-brawler, who had decided to be rude and to defend her dignity, maybe we still wouldn’t have the right to vote, work or even leave the house.
Yes, I’m a brawler! But no one will ever dare to humiliate me.
I’m a brawler! But I have the strength and will fight the systems that humiliate people.
I don’t give a damn that I’m a brawler! At least, my family and I have more chances to survive and live decently, without humiliation.
Tatusya Bo