My friend has one elderly colleague, let’s say, Alla Vasylivna, who absolutely does not know how to behave in terms of ease of communication.
Everything with her is difficult, inquisitive and creative. If, for example, you ask:
“Alla Vasylivna, how long will it take the courier to bring the mail?”
She will answer:
“Three quarters of an hour.”
And if now, let’s say 13:52 ‒ you should sit and figure out how much it will be.
Also, she always says it in a mysterious way, with a grin, as if she was not a former math teacher, who, because she needed something to eat, had a long time ago became an accountant, but vice versa ‒ a secret Lolita Torres, and only a grin can express it.
And if someone is completely tired of work, looks up and asks:
“Listen, which date will be on Friday?”
Lolita mysteriously squinted her teacher’s eyes under the accounting glasses and affably replies:
“Today is Tuesday! It is easy to count!”
Therefore, they are trying not to ask her about anything in order not to run into a mysterious and curious answer with squinting.
But she bakes cinnamon buns that are just wonderful: when it’s an accountant’s day or the birthday party is organized for a director, those buns are sincerely praised.
But still, while stretching out a hand over the bun, many do it somewhat uncertainly, as if there could be a task or a math riddle with a quadratic equation inside that needs to be solved first, and only then you can enjoy the bun itself.
So, because of all our recent events ‒ the Tomos and all the Epiphanius things, the team started a conversation: when is Christmas now. And, forgetting for a moment about the math, they asked their old Lolita Torres:
“Alla Vasylivna, on which day are you going to celebrate Christmas now?”
There was silence first, and everyone was ready for a quadratic equation. And Lolita suddenly said:
“On December 25th.”
And then, all the same, she mysteriously smiled, squinted and affably added:
“And then again according to the old style: in two weeks. It is not difficult to calculate the date.”
She is like a cinnamon bun, that Alla Vasylivna: so affable.
By Andriy Alyokhin