How often do you approach a stranger on the street or on the beach and say to one’s face: “You look disgusting! How can you be so fat?” Well, or maybe something softer, for example: “This skirt does not suit you at all, you cannot wear such models with your figure”.
I think I won’t be mistaken if I say that in real life you haven’t ever said such things to strangers. It is explained by one simple observation: you can be easily returned your comments in real life, and perhaps – not only with words, but with fists.
But social networks are a magical forest, where people sometimes let such predators out of themselves that they should be scared of each other. A bloody fight may arise out of nothing. Language isn’t chosen there, labels are hung up and shattering comments are distributed. Fierce battles around political events and social problems can still be understood: in the end, we have a democracy, everyone has the right to vote. In a certain sense, your destiny also depends on how your political opponents vote. However, it remains unclear how the fate of an ordinary Ukrainian citizen depends on the shape of the buttocks of the French President’s wife, Brigitte Macron.
However, it is this photo of the two first ladies was recently discussed in the networks with such persistence like the future life of all mankind depends on these buttocks and how they are dressed. They sorted it out to the last thread: the cut and the length of the skirts, the quality of their tailoring, even the lining and seams. Strict judgments were passed on the stylists and tailors, even though these tailors produce clothes of such quality that most commentators haven’t kept in their hands. And worst of all, they judged harshly what’s under those skirts, and even in such expressions, with such epithets, like these are not two important women, but two horses in races. Although, no one, who loves animals and knows them, could use such language towards a horse.
So, pouring out a dirt on other people’s photos, distributing ratings like “disgusting”, “ugly”, “monster” to someone else’s clothes and style – is toxic itself. Even if we assume that the person, being discussed, will never read it. And so, the streams of dirt, which people abundantly pour out in the networks on other people’s dresses, shoes and other fashionable things, cause the classic question: “Who are the judges?”. Often, the clothes of famous style experts, trendsetters, who are always a few steps ahead of mass fashion, are crushed by people, who are far from fashion, like Zhmerynka from Paris, as their own photos in their own profiles testify eloquently. Even though this is absolutely not criminal, people have every right not to be interested in fashion, not to follow trends and be absolutely happy at the same time, but in such circumstances, it would be appropriate not to pass arrogant judgments on the style of others. But no, the phrase “I’m not honestly into this” is absolutely unpronounceable for many.
But it’s not even the worst. Worst of all, people don’t know how to keep their judgments on someone else’s body, physique and features to themselves. Not on something that could be bought in the stores and can be easily wasted and replaced with another one, more modern. No, on something that is absolutely, 200% personal, that is impossible or extremely difficult to change. And something that is, without any doubt, none of someone else’s concern. But people delve into other people’s peculiarities and “shortcomings”, like a grumpy mother-in-law in a kitchen cupboard of her daughter-in-law; seeking out anything to make a fuss so carefully that they could give master classes on fault-finding to boarder guards and tax inspectors. And if they don’t find anything to bark furiously, they invent it! Science fiction writers could envy the creativity of some people in inventing other people’s vices.
During the years of the fashion blog, the author of this column saw such critical reviews of the appearance of completely normal, ordinary, and sometimes very beautiful women that it just blows my mind… “Spaniel ears” – about the normal breast of an adult woman, the “surprised egg” – about natural eyebrows, “goat’s legs”, “monkey mask” – and these are not the worst offends. Cellulite, wrinkles, flabby skin – any deviation from gloss “ideal” samples is considered an aesthetic crime, it is necessary to hide it bashfully. It comes to the form of the ears, and toes of the feet, and even the natural form of the nails. It turns out that it can be ugly too, and this must be immediately notified to humanity.
Indian film actress Huma Qureshi
And how can I not mention the most common topic for harassment and humiliation in the network – the weight! What a space for body shaming! Too thin – board, a walking skeleton, Koshchey Immortal. Too fat – fatso, glutton, lazy woman, and my beloved – “how can you let yourself so down in the dumbs?”. See, you certainly have to take care of yourself to please the Internet “experts”. Outsiders at first glance make a detailed diagnosis. They instantly know everything about you: what you eat, how much you move, what you were fed in childhood and what diseases are waiting for you just next week if you don’t lose weight. People are so worried about someone else’s health – they just leave all their business and start lecturing on fitness and dietology, about what they were not asked for. And often it is a set of cliches and prejudices.
Imagine what will happen to such an enthusiast of a healthy lifestyle if he begins to molest people on the street, educate them on the topic of losing weight and threaten with terrible illnesses. Something tells me that there will be urgently called an ambulance, and not for those, who “need” to lose weight, but for educator.
However, in my opinion, these people, who are inspired to discuss other people’s “vices” and reach out harsh judgements on someone else’s taste, really need help. They think that they poison the object of criticism with their toxic comments, but in fact, they poison the environment around them. Because of them, social networks are getting dense thickets, in which, sometimes it is scary to stick a nose out. They are sitting in ambush and waiting, from whom to bite off at least a bit of self-esteem, how to help themselves, in order to restore a bit of worm-damaged self-esteem. Humiliation of others gives them a sense of their own worth, and the Internet creates the illusion of impunity.
But this is just an illusion. Whatever we say, we are depicted in these sayings. So the comments of haters tell a lot about themselves. Much more than they would expect.
Maya Tulchynska
