It happens that my mother doesn’t call me. Just does not call. She might not call all day long. About 4 p.m. on this day, I already imagine as she drowned the phone in a bucket of water. At 5 p.m. I already think that today there are changes in atmospheric pressure, and she is lying in her bed and cannot call me. Usually, at 6 p. m. I call her to say: “Why don’t you call me?”.
But it happens so that I want to make some pancakes with berries, just like she does. I call her to clarify the recipe. And she doesn’t pick up the phone. At first, I think: “Oh, well, now I’ll figure something out myself”. Also, I do figure out. And these are not pancakes, but already such things that writers of thrillers would be envy of my imagination. In five minutes she has 10 missed calls from me from all possible numbers. After 10 minutes, I already call my relatives, neighbors, and the chairman of the village council shouting into the phone: “Urgently, collect the rescue team, something happened!” And in half an hour, I lie in the middle of the room in the pose of the star and review the pictures of Armageddon from my head, because as it is so… my mother doesn’t call me!
Somehow she did not pick up the phone for 2 hours. In my room there was a smell of Corvalol. Neighbors and relatives were also not in touch. And the only one, who picked up the phone was a long time familiar from a nearby village. My hysterics and ultrasonic frequencies in the voice made him sit on a bicycle and go five kilometers to tell my mother: “Aunt Vera, Tanya is calling you…” She called me back when I had already canceled all my work and meetings and ran out of the apartment in readiness to go to her for 200 kilometers because she doesn’t pick up the phone for some reason.
And to all my hysterics and cries she said: “Oh, come on! What have you pulled? I just wore pants without pockets and went to the garden to weed the cabbage”. Can you imagine? She has cabbage, and I have hysterics and almost a heart attack. I then promised to sew the pockets for all her clothes, even on her pajamas. And I did, by the way.
Once the connection in the village disappeared. Mobile operators have been making some kind of replacement of equipment for several hours. And it was in that “several” I thought: “my mother doesn’t call me for a reason…”, and it began. Oh, you should have seen what began! Everyone here was rushing around in a panic, but there – no one. They did not have a connection, they lived their usual life, they did not even guess that 200 kilometers away from them, one hysterical woman lifted the sky. When those operators turned their towers on, then the whole village received messages that my phone number has been trying to call them n-number of times. And my mother has received a message that her daughter, that is me, tried to get through to her 65 times. Then I tried and everyone has been through enough, even a representative of Kyivstar, whom I wrote to demand that they send me a message without fail: “Dear Hysteric Girl. Have a sedative and wait, we’ll turn off the connection for five minutes”.
I somehow thought that it is just me… crazy and hysterical, but it turned out there is such a legion of us.
For example, a friend, who lives in Italy, decided to call her mom. Well, just like that, she wanted something, and her mother didn’t pick up the phone. So that you understand the extravagance of that woman. After 40 minutes, her mom was searched for by rescuers, a police squad and an ambulance. And they have found her. Her mother went to a neighbor to taste the cherry brandy and left the phone at home. She came out flushed and beautiful from the guests, and near her door, doctors with firefighters are already advised how to break the door.
Men are also capable. One day a friend from Budapest flew to Kyiv urgently, because his mother turned off the sound on the phone, and then it fell over the sofa and discharged there.
Another friend of mine with her mother lives in the same district. And her mother also didn’t call and didn’t pick up the phone. My friend was already under the mother’s door within an hour: she told the locksmith from which side it is better to cut off the armored doors to her mother’s apartment. Her mother appeared with a question in her eyes when the resolute locksmith began to cut off the hinges: “daughter, what the… @$&#@?”. It turned out that her daughter called on the phone, which was lying on the kitchen table, while her mother was watching an exciting series at maximum volume.
My mother is calling… huh. At last! “Uh, why don’t you pick up the phone?”
Moms, please pick up the phones, answer the calls, call your children because, maybe you are fine now, and your daughter is already a hysterical madwoman and knows all police officers, fire and ambulance workers by name. And even the number of uncle Lyonya-locksmith, who may cut your “armored door” very inexpensively. Because her mother… she doesn’t call her.
Tatusya Bo
